running shit, medieval styles

Jenna: blow me like im henry the 8th
and you're gunnin' for the crown
Kristin: HAAAAAAAAAAA
Mairoid: hahahaha
Kristin: henry the 8th gave me the get out of head free card, babe
Jenna: hahaha
if by that you mean he said off with your head
then yes
you probs dont have to fellate him

springtime blondes in bloom

"I'd recommend you avoid highway 95"

"I don't even know what 95 is, babe"

(After living her full adult life no more than 15 minutes away from the Nation's largest highway artery)

Save the planet

I secretly have a soft spot for trees.

America runs on blondes

Who even goes to dunkin donuts anyway?

get out of head free card, babe.

Kristin: i love Costco SO hard
Mairead: haaha
Kristin: if you weren't in the pic, i'd date it exclusively
but only if you were no longer alive
and i'd only cheat on it whilst blackout
Mairead: With what, BJs? because i don't even count that as cheating

the one that got it all started

I judge how late it is, by the time of day

I will follow you into the dark.

Jenna: How am I alive?
Kristin: i lived with a BAC of .475
well
i died
but came back immedes

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

How was it an underground railroad, if it wasn't underground or a railroad?

I'll take 'walk of fame' for $200 Alex

I want to say the guy from trainspotting was in that, him or ewan macgregor

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away

What's that called when you're a long way away space years? Oh yeah light years.

Blondin' all over the world

Jane fonda, gorillas in the mist

Blondology 101

Where do girl ants get the eggs from? Guys!

those were the daaaaays

J: oh man, that is our new thing. "How old are you?" "I'm in my Roaring 20s"
K: remember?
J: what?
K: "once we're in our 20s, we'll call it the Roaring 20s. and when we're in our 30s, it's going to be The Depression"
J: did we say this already?
K: yes
J: i bet we were in high school when we came up with this
K: we SO were!
J: and yet, the wit of a woman of 85!
J: and the 40s? the war? where does FDR fit in? you know though, this is going to make for an excellent 60s...free lovin!
J: you have to live until then. i can't orgy without ya!
K: and the 70s, all the hard drugs we can get our paws on
J: like blood pressure meds, calcium supplements, iron pills, LIPITOR
K: i'll be doin lines of lipitor off a geriatric stripper

I feel the need for speed

You want to go to a beach chair show!?

(After an invitation to the Long Beach Air Show)

Rise and Shine Commentary

I don't even drink screwdrivers, unless its the morning

as the world trons

I always thought it was constellation prize, consolation makes so much more sense!

First blonde gcomment of the 2008 calendar year

yeah but

the other gifts were not bday gifts

those were gifts that you were too lazy to give to me at another time

you cant double bag it

is that what its called?

the daily blonde

Is it a jet? Oh yeah it is, cuz it has 4 propellers. Wait, do jets have wings?

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?

Are those mountains? (asked while walking in New Orleans)

Another day, another comment of the blondes

I'm not sure about Celsius or Fahrenheit, but I can do Kelvin in my head.

Panty Dropology 101

Kristin: So, what do you do for a living?
Jersey Cop: (hesitates) I'm in law enforcement.
Kristin: Are you a cop?
Jersey Cop: (embarrassed) Uhh, yeah, I guess you would call it that. But don't worry, I'm not on duty.

ps- Post-posting, I realized how not funny this sounds. Guess you had to be there.

Big Crimpin

You went "fishing" for tuna? I thought tuna came in a can. (high school comment)

First Blonde Comment of the New Year

Is there something on my dress? Some guys were looking at me, they def weren't checking me out, cuz one was Asian

Do you have a home? Why don't you go to it?

K: i dont think i could DO him
J: use liquor!

happy fuckin' new year

"i know a place to get some pizza. it's located near or at my dick."